DAWN OF THE ZOMBIE FLESH EATING FERRETS

From NEWS.COM.AU:


AS Florence Taylor pootled home from the shops on her mobility scooter, her thoughts probably drifted to the cup of tea she was about to enjoy. But she was rudely interrupted when something furry flashed past her. It was a ferret, which duly hopped on to the scooter – then sank its teeth into her leg. A terrified Mrs Taylor deployed her walking stick to try to bat the ferret away, but it hung on for two agonising minutes.

The grandmother of ten said: ‘I’ve never felt pain like it. I’m too scared to leave home in case it attacks me again.’

But police won’t investigate the incident, saying it was not a criminal matter.

Be afraid! Be very afraid!

The ferrets of England have had enough of being stuffed down the trousers of northerners with irregular personal hygiene regimes and they are coming to get us.