Letter Writing Freebie

Each December I teach the kiddos how to write a friendly letter. I really make it a big deal because we are going to send these to someone special. SANTA. I swear saying that word to first graders is like yelling "Look, Justin Beiber!" in a crowded mall, lol.

I have them remember the five parts by incorporating touch. 
Heading--Point to our our head
Greeting--Point to our mouth
Body--Point to our bellies
Closing--Snap our legs together like a soldier
Signature--Stick a foot out like you're pointing with your toe

After a few repetitions they start to pick it up.

You'll see in my Santa template page that it's not all about "I want". I encourage them to tell Santa about themselves, whether they've been naughty or nice, and to ask questions. Then, after that they can ask for three (or so) things that they'd like to have.

During morning meeting (calendar time) we add a question to Santa to our chart paper so they get an idea of what to write in their letter. (And it sneaks in teaching/reviewing asking sentences!)

The neatest thing is that once all the letters are 'mailed' I really bring them to the fifth grade teachers. The fifth grade teachers hype up the fifth graders and the fifth graders pretend to be elves and they write my kiddos back. So, about a week passes and I get a beautifully ornate envelope back from...SANTA!! The principal brings it in my classroom like it's urgent business. I read every letter to the firsties. (The fifth graders explain that Santa was busy so an elf wrote them back. They think of the cutest elf names)

Click here to get your freebie

OH BUGGER, IT'S CHRISTMAS AGAIN (9)


Okay, I'm going to be honest with you. This one is almost impossible to get through. Most of you will be driven to picking up your computer and throwing it against the nearest wall just to stop the pain.

But, if you do somehow manage to get all the way through it I will be sending a massive 2000 days off purgatory to the medical facility, where you will no doubt be staying for the foreseeable future, with strict instructions to the nice doctor who will be looking after you to give them to you just as soon as you are feeling better.

SHRINE OR BLOOMIN' MESS?

From THE MAIL:


A mother condemned a callous council today which removed a shrine to her murdered daughter, because of one complaint describing it as ‘litter’.

Three people, including her boyfriend, were charged with murder after the body of 23-year-old Catherine Wells-Burr was found in her burned out car dumped in a layby. But tributes left at the scene by family and friends were bagged-up by a council cleanup crew after one person complained that it frightened a horse.

Catherine's mother, Jayne Wells-Burr, said, "I know some of the flowers had died, but just seeing them there showed us how much Catherine was loved by so many people. Every day there was something new there. This was our special spot, but it has been tarnished by what has happened. I can’t believe the council could be so uncaring"

I have real problems with this roadside shrine mania. I'm all for folk traditions and people creating stuff for themselves without paying somebody else to do it for them. But, on the other hand, I hate a mess and these shrines are definitely that. It's not like the mourners are erecting a nice, kitsch statue of our lady in a grotto on the verge, memorabilia is just thrown haphazard onto the existing pile or tied to railings never to be removed even when they have become a soggy, decomposing eyesore.

And, of course, any horse that is as compulsive obsessive as me is going to have a fit when he passes by stuff that shouldn't be there, which is dangerous for the rider.

AUSTRIAN PRIEST SENT TO BED WITHOUT DINNER

From REUTERS:

The Vatican has cracked down on a prominent Austrian Roman Catholic priest who has been leading a disobedience campaign to openly challenge Roman Catholic teachings on celibacy and women priests. The Vatican said on Thursday it had stripped Father Helmut Schueller of the right to use title monsignor and said he also was no longer a "Chaplain of His Holiness".


JOHN HENRY NEWMAN WHERE ART THOU?

From THE NATIONAL CATHOLIC REPORTER:

If ever a Catholic organization was misnamed, it has to be the Cardinal Newman Society. It's almost as if believers in the flat earth theory decided to call themselves the Galileo Society.

In a recent NCR series, Dan Morris-Young noted that this very visible group, whose ecclesiastical adviser is Cardinal Raymond Burke, head of the Vatican's supreme court, has become a driving force in critiquing Catholic college and universities and opposing the selection of speakers it considers unacceptable. For example, the society in May protested and organized opposition to commencement-related speakers, including Kathleen Sebelius at Georgetown University; Victoria Kennedy, widow of Sen. Edward Kennedy, at Anna Maria College; and Archbishop Desmond Tutu at Gonzaga University. All hold views not in strict conformity with Catholic doctrine.

I can only imagine what John Henry Newman might have to say about this group that so freely uses his name. It was he who lifted high the importance of the laity at a time in England when lay views were given scant attention. It was he who celebrated the idea of the consensus of the faithful and the consent of the faithful as of extreme importance in determining correct doctrine. He went so far as to claim it was the laity and not the hierarchy that preserved the church from falling into full-blown error during the Arian dispute in the 4th century. Newman clearly believed controversies should be settled by open discussion and dialogue, not by the muzzling of disagreeable voices. And it was Newman who famously upheld the supremacy of conscience in a hot discussion with an English nobleman who accused him as a Catholic of abject deference to the papacy. Newman responded, "I shall drink to conscience first ... and to the pope afterwards."

Spot on!

You know, I wish Anglicanism had a publication as willing to stick its neck out and question the status quo and those "in authority above us." All we have in England is the extremely timid, establishment loving "Church Times."

EXORCIST HOTLINE OPENS IN MILAN

From THE BELFAST TELEGRAPH:

The Catholic Church has established an exorcist hotline in Milan, its biggest diocese, to cope with demand and the number of demon-busting priests on call has increased from six to 12.

Monsignor Angelo Mascheroni, the diocese’s chief exorcist since 1995, said, “People in need can call and will be able to find a priest in the same area who doesn’t have to travel too far.”

He said he knew of one exorcist who had been seeing up to 120 people a day. “But with so little time per client he was only able to offer a quick blessing. That’s not enough. There should be two to four appointments a day, no more, otherwise it’s too much.”

It’s not clear why the number of suspected possessions has risen so sharply. But Monsignor Mascheroni said that part of the increase might be explained by the rising numbers of parents having difficulty controlling disobedient teenagers.


THE COLLIE AND THE IVY


Posted by Marguerite on Facebook.

RECORD SLEEVES WITH DOGS ON (5)


OH BUGGER, IT'S CHRISTMAS AGAIN (8)


Something a bit more traditional today and, in my opinion, possibly the worst entry so far. My guess is that a few of you might just get through to when the ukelele joins in before you reach for the off switch. Don't be fooled by the ladies singing at the beginning - they're just on the record to lull you into a false sense of security. 500 days off purgatory if you get all the way through it.

RECORD SLEEVES WITH CATS ON (2)


MAGNIFICAT


Original photo stolen from Michelle on Facebook.

WE HAVE LIFT OFF!


Thanks to the extreme generosity of two lovely people this year's Christmas appeal has already reached forty whole English pounds even though it was only launched yesterday afternoon.

You can find out all about the appeal, what it's for and what have you by CLICKING HERE.

And here is the widget you need to click on to make your donation. Absolutely any amount of cash will be greatly appreciated.


As always, donators to my cause, receive a specially created, MadPriest photoshop toon that is not available elsewhere. Well, I like to make this begging for money as much fun as possible for all of us.

POPE SAVES PLANET

Phew!

That was a close one. I must admit I was a little bit worried that the Mayans had got it right. Fortunately, not only did they get their calendar wrong but, according to Pope Benedict XVI, so did the 6th century monk, Dionysius Exiguus.

Exiguus created our modern calendar which begins with the birth of Jesus Christ. But in his book, "Jesus of Nazareth: The Infancy Narratives," the Pope says that Exiguus ”made a mistake in his calculations by several years. The actual date of Jesus’ birth was several years before.”

This means that if the world ends on 21st. December 2012, then it already has. We're all safe or dead already.

HEADLINE OF THE DAY


Our Lady of the Rule, eh? That sounds interestingly strict.

HO BAMA, HEY BAMA, BAMA, BAMA HO



The Obama as Jesus painting named “The Truth” is being criticized by the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights. The painting depicting President Obama as Jesus Christ with a crown of thorns on his head, crucified against the presidential seal, is currently on display at the Bunker Hill Community College art gallery in Boston. The artist Michael D’Antuono defends the Obama as Jesus painting, arguing that his “First Amendment rights should override someone’s hurt feelings.”

Full story at THE INQUISITR.

SPRINGTIME IN PARIS

From MAIL ONLINE:


A French-Algerian homosexual man is planning to open a 'mosque for gays' in France and hopes to eventually conduct same-sex Muslim marriages. Mohammed Ludovic Lütfi Zahed, an Algerian Muslim living in Paris who is married to Qiyam al-Din, hopes to open the doors by the end of the month. The mosque, situated in a Buddhist chapel in Paris and it will also break another Islamic taboo by refusing to segregate women and men.

Mohammed said: "In normal mosques, women have to sit in the back seats and wear a headscarf and gay men are afraid of both verbal and physical aggression. After performing the Hajj, I realized that a mosque for gays was a must for gay Muslims who want to perform their prayers."

Zahed was diagnosed with AIDS at 19, sparking his spiritual awakening. He says he regularly receives hate mail from Muslims globally, but added he is 'comfortable' in his own skin

GOD DELIBERATELY INJURES 21 PEOPLE

From 22 NEWS:

A Springfield pastor says that the explosion of a downtown strip club on Friday night is the “answer to our prayers.” Pastor Scott Lively of Redemption Gate Mission Society in Springfield wrote in a recent blog posting that he and his faithful are giving God “all the glory and praise for this occurrence, since it is only by His power that any of our prayers can have any effect.” In the blog , Lively says that for years he and members of his church have offered prayers to “destroy the works of Satan in this city,” adding “We have specifically included the strip clubs in these prayers.”

On Friday night, a natural gas explosion centered at SCORES Gentlemen’s Club on Worthington Street destroyed the bar and two nearby buildings, and heavily damaged several others. No one was killed, but 21 people were injured.

Well, you have to expect a bit of collateral damage with this sort of thing. Innocent people should be prepared to make sacrifices if America is going to win the War Against Satan.


CATHEDRAL LICKER HEADS NORTH

From THE COURIER:

A young Englishman has set tongues wagging as his pilgrimage to lick every Anglican cathedral in the UK looks set to take him north of the border into Scotland.

Last January Lawrence Edmonds was just another man sitting in a pub in his hometown of York. Now more than 40 stony licks later and he is preparing to check off the Scottish items on his list.

Lawrence said: "It was originally a bet my friend Adam made with another friend of ours, Dan. It was a cold January evening in 2011. There wasn't much going on. We were talking about bets and I asked how Dan was getting on and Adam said he had only done one, so I rather foolishly took it on. I've got until December 16 to finish them all. The forfeit is you've got to streak outside York Minster."

ISLAM STEPS INTO TRAP

A court in Egypt has found eight people, involved in some way with the "Innocence Of Muslims" movie, guilty of "harming national unity, insulting and publicly attacking Islam and spreading false information," all charges that carry the death penalty. Fortunately for those condemned none of them are actually in Egypt at the moment, although they should probably ask Salman Rushdie if he has any tips for amusing yourself whilst hiding in windowless room for the rest of your life.

One of the walking dead is the obnoxious, Quran burning, Florida pastor, Terry Jones. His response to his sentence was predictable. The ruling "shows the true face of Islam," he says. "We can speak out here in America. That freedom means that we criticize government leadership, religion even at times. Islam is not a religion that tolerates any type of criticism."

And, of course, the trouble making, ambassador killing tosser is right. Islam is its own worst enemy and will not change until there are some Muslim women in high places brave enough to tell the boys how pathetic their constant posturing really is.

TODAY'S NEW WORD

ISLAMABAMAPHOBIA - The fear that the president of your country is not a bigoted, Bible-bashing, wrong door bashing into, mumbling grumbling fool.

SALVATION ARMY SECRETLYPROMOTING TEH GAY STANCE


RECORD SLEEVES WITH DOGS ON (4)


VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Facebook is a lot of fun but if you want beauty and depth you have to go check out the blogs. Diane's post "Soon And Very Soon" on her longrunning blog, FAITH IN COMMUNITY, is a perfect example of what I mean. Do go check it out and let her know that you have. Blogging is a lonely business nowadays and bloggers need your encouragement. The internet would be a shallower place if all we had was Facebook.

OH BUGGER, IT'S CHRISTMAS AGAIN (7)


Okay, I can definitely give you the opportunity to earn some days off purgatory this time even though the record is only one minute fifty three seconds long. What I can do is give you one hundred days off purgatory every time you manage to listen to the singer trying to hit a high note. I warn you though, this excruciating task will be made even more painful by the fact that you will also be listening to some of the most puerile lyrics ever unleashed upon the world at any time of the year.

THE LABOURER DESERVES HIS WAGES


I am now, most definitely, a full time internet priest (or whatever you want to call it). I receive no wages from any employer and I receive no welfare payments from the state. Yet, I put in over sixty hours every week keeping the OCICBW... blog up to date and entertaining and producing podcasted services which are enjoyed by up to two thousand people, from all over the world, every week.

At the moment I receive about £400 a month in donations from a whole load of good friends. A small proportion of this money goes towards the monthly costs of my internet ministry, for example the cost of hosting audio files on a server. The rest of the money goes towards keeping Mrs MP and me fed and warm. We survive but we have no money for big bills and extras. The problem is that big bills and extras pop up in respect of my internet running costs. This Christmas Appeal is a cry out for help in paying for these necessary extras.

I need money for:

The renewal of my annual podcasting licence through which I pay royalties for the music I use in my services and other podcasts. (£118.00)

The upgrading of my computer's internal hard drive so I can store all my files on my computer with a full back up on an external drive. At the moment I have files all over the place. (£147.00)

I would like to be in the financial position to also buy a proper microphone for my podcasting and a fireproof external hard drive for the safe back up of all my files.

Any monies I receive over and above the cost of these listed items would be spent on buying Mrs MP a proper Christmas present, buying food and drink for Christmas and getting myself some new clothes in the January sales (in that order).

Here is the widget you need to click on to make your donation. Absolutely any amount of cash will be greatly appreciated.


I provide a service and offer various products, but I do not sell these in the old fashioned, way of the world, way. Instead I embrace the new economy which relies on a different type of relationship between "buyer" and "seller." Maybe I'm a beggar and, if I am, I am happy with that (so was Saint Francis). But I prefer the title of busker. This means that those of you who decide to contribute to this appeal will be doing so on your own behalf and on behalf of those who enjoy my ministry but are not in a position to contribute financially towards it. That may not be Mitt Romney's way of doing business but he lost and the Kingdom of God moved a little bit closer. Together, we will continue to do our bit to make it even more of a reality.

Thank you.

TO THOSE WHO DO DONATE
SECRETS WILL BE REVEALED

TOO MUCH BREAD AND BUDDHA

From THE TELEGRAPH (Australia):

Sri Lanka has announced plans to draw up new guidelines for donating food to the country's Buddhist monks amid concerns about their weight and health. The ministry said the faithful, who offer alms as a religious tradition, tended to give food that was too high in fat and sugar and monks were developing preventable health conditions such as heart disease and diabetes.

"The Medical Research Institute has been asked to prepare menus that could be used for alms givings," the ministry said in a statement, adding that the new guidelines would be issued next month.

Meanwhile, in New York City, the Department of Health has issued guidelines concerning the giving of bags of muffins and doughnuts to local Catholic bishop, Timothy Dolan.

A spokesperson for the authority stated that it was "just the same as not feeding the pigeons. Eventually Mister Dolan will realise nobody is going to feed him and will stop hanging around on the streets bothering pedestrians who just want to go about their business without being bothered by scavengers."


A THORN IN SAINT PETER'S SIDE

From YNN:

After 40 years of serving the Catholic Church, Father Roy Bourgeois was dismissed from his religious order last week. Father Bourgeois was excommunicated in 2008 because of his support for women's ordination, but a local viewing of his documentary "Pink Smoke over the Vatican" is continuing the discussion for him.

Father Bourgeois says it's not complicated: refusing to ordain women is sexist and isn't backed by scripture.

"Who are we as men to say that our call from God is authentic and yours as women is not. What I see here is a grave injustice against women and our loving God. The Vatican is saying there can't even be discussion on this topic and my answer is we are not children, we are adults."

The Roman Catholic Diocese of Rochester declined an interview but gave a statement, saying in part that the "Catholic Church has no authority to confer priestly ordination on women and that this teaching is to be held definitively."

Every seat at the Cinema Theatre was filled for Tuesday's showing. A recent New York Times poll found that 59 percent of American Catholics favor the ordination of women.


A CUNNING PLAN

From PRWEB:

According to author, Lou Baldin, "indisputable evidence shows that Judaism (Israel), the progenitor of both Christianity and Islam, created Christianity as a means of protecting scriptural archives at a time when Rome was attempting to erase all signs of Judaism and its people from the face of the earth."

Baldwin claims that Christianity was created during the Roman siege of Jerusalem by Jews desperate to place their sacred scrolls into the hands and minds of their destroyers, using the same parables and stories that kept Judaism alive for two thousand years before Rome brought Israel to near extermination, in 70 A.D. Baldin emphasises that Judaism faded away and Christianity blossomed as pagan Romans latched onto the one deity concept that was instilled into them by the surviving remnants of Israel, the Christian Jews.


PACK YOUR TRUNK, WE'RE ON VACATION



Over three dozen tame elephants from temples across Tamil Nadu have been brought to the village of Thekkampatti to rejuvenate at a special 48-day camp. They are being given special food and long periods of rest. Accompanied by their caretakers or 'mahouts', the tuskers were tethered in the open, with large piles of sugarcane, leaves and bucketfuls of grain.

"We have come to this camp, where our elephants are given special food with vitamin supplements. The elephants are happy to see each other, as they are lonely at the temples. We are also happy as a result," said Dinesh, a mahout.

"These elephants are also being given special medicines. The camp is on the banks of the Bhavani river, and the arrangements made for the camp are very nice," said Balan, another mahout.

Captive elephants are an important element of many religious ceremonies and festivals at temples and shrines across south India.

RECORD SLEEVES WITH CATS ON (1)


OH BUGGER, IT'S CHRISTMAS AGAIN (6)


So many of you hate this song in whatever form it is dished up, so I had to include a version this year. However, I'm not giving away any days off purgatory for listening to it. Look at it as a personal challenge, like clearing your pet cat's sick up in the middle of the night.

On Being Intentional About Christmas With Adopted Kids


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Together on the Ledge
@Empowered to Connect
Christmas is one of my favorite holidays and has always been a treasured day for our family.  We love a Christmas tree with sparkling lights, stockings stuffed to their brims, meaningful gifts, and lots of special food. But with the addition of our children from “hard places” we have found it necessary to learn new strategies to successfully celebrate holidays together as a family.

Why Christmas Stinks Sometimes
@Empowered to Connect
It instantly occurred to me that somehow I managed to have the only elementary school-aged child in all of America who actually hates Christmas. But I quickly asked the obvious question, “Why?”

An Older Child's First Christmas Home
@Rainbow Kids
Often, having had to survive a number of holiday seasons wondering if they would ever have the experience of purchasing gifts for a son or daughter, many new adoptive parents are at risk of overwhelming and indulging the new child in the family.

Celebrating Christmas With Newly Adopted Children
@One Thankful Mom

I’ve been wondering just how to “do” Christmas this year with three newly adopted children from Ethiopia. I would really like to change our “normal” Christmas to focus more on Christ and less on presents.

Creating a Hopeful Christmas for Your Adopted Child
@Crosswalk.com

Adoptive families of older children, especially during the holidays, must be sensitive to their new child, while bringing him or her into the family and making him or her a part of traditions that have been in place for years. The following seven points can help us get through a holiday fraught with emotion, keep our important family traditions, blend in our new children, and head off most major blow-outs.

Adoption Gifts
@Adoption.com
Here are some adoption gift ideas … from adoptive parents and birth parents to adoptees.

Audiobook Ideas for Your Family
@Delighting in Dirty Carpet
A list of audio stories you can use at bedtime, in the car, during quiet play…




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WORD FROM WENCHOSTER

It's arrived!


The Wenchoster Calendar is my favourite calendar. In fact, it is the only calendar I use. It's sits there beside my computer all year and is always replaced with another Wenchoster Calendar on New Year's day.

To be honest I don't know how any cleric could do his or her job without the Wenchoster Calendar or how any member of the laity could carry out their duty of prayer. Without the Wenchoster Calendar I would not have known that yesterday was the feast day of Saint Rachel The Bow-legged (transferred) or that tomorrow they will be erecting the Jesse Tree at Pantifril as is their tradition.


Check out these endorsements:

"Every copy should be burned." (Bishop Justin Welby)

"It's even more unnatural than sex." (Pope Benedict XVI)

"I thought I was buying a wok."
(sweet old lady from Thibodaux, Louisiana)


"RAOTFLMAO!" (Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II)

"OMG!" (God)

Wenchoster's diocesan secretary has sent the following email to me which contains all the information you need to be able to purchase your own copy of this annual icon and, if you wish to win friends and influence people, buy a load more to give away as presents this festive season. Archdeacons, rural deans, opponents of gay marriage, women bishops, increasing the price of the coffee after mass etc. and fervent evangelical acquaintances will be particularly pleased to receive a Wenchoster Calendar in their stockings on Christmas morning.

Just to let you know that the 2013 Diocese of Wenchoster desk calendar is now available.  (The usual scurrilous stuff!)

Cost £5 each

Postage & packing of one calendar to UK inland addresses (1st class large) + £1.50
Postage & packing of one calendar to USA addresses (airmail, small packets) + £4.50

Orders to me, and payment via PayPal to this email address rhpt@pharisaios.co.uk

I completely and utterly endorse this product and vouch for the honesty and reliability of the naughty vicar from Suffolk who is behind it.

CLICK HERE for the Diocese of Wenchoster website.

CLICK HERE  for the journal of the Diocese of Wenchoster.

CLICK HERE for a photograph of a nun with a dog dressed up as a bishop on her shoulder.

ROMAN CATHOLIC BISHOP SPEAKS OUTAGAINST HAVING BABIES

Yes, it's true.

From ABS CBN NEWS:

A bishop discouraged the giving of “preggy dolls” this Christmas, noting it would send a wrong message to young children. Bishop Joel Baylon is reported as saying: “These ‘preggy dolls’ are not to be encouraged as Christmas gifts, especially to young (unmarried) people. They do send a wrong message, which is, ‘it’s ok to get pregnant.’


YOU NEVER SEE A CARDINAL ON A BIKE

This is fecking obscene.

From ANI:

As recession continues to bite in Italy, the tailor to the Pope since 1798 was all smiles at the weekend with news that the Vatican had come shopping. With six newly created "global" cardinals, who will still have to be kitted out in traditional style, Gammarelli began work on kitting out six newly-elected cardinals from the United States, India, Nigeria, the Philippines, Lebanon and Colombia.

A pair of cassocks - one red and one black - costs around 1,500 euros. Then there are red mozzetta hoods at 200 euros a pop; three-pointed hats at 100 euros, zucchetto skull caps and special red socks, as well as a fascia or sash at 120 euros. While an order worth several thousand euros might mean a lot for a family business in the middle of a recession, the bill won't cause much concern at the Vatican. Proceeds have been falling of late as the number of the faithful dwindles, but the Catholic Church still has very deep pockets - underlined by the voluntary donations of 800m pounds it receives from Italian taxpayers each year.

And this is hypocritical tosh. Plain and simple.

From ASSOCIATED PRESS:

Pope Benedict XVI has told his six new cardinals to resist the allure of power and instead be like Jesus and focus their work on spreading the Christian faith. Benedict told his new collaborators that Jesus had no political ambitions.

He said: "To be like Jesus, then, means not letting ourselves be allured by the worldly logic of power, but bringing into the world the light of truth and God's love."

FREE, LEGAL AND WITHTHE ARTISTS' PERMISSION

THE PERFECT CHRISTMAS PRESENTFOR THE STUDENT IN YOUR LIFE


VATICAN INVADES THE PHILIPPINES

It's not only in America.

From PHILIPPINE DAILY ENQUIRER:

A Philippine Palace official suspects one reason for the lack of quorum in the House of Representatives during deliberations on the reproductive health (RH) bill - Reelectionist lawmakers fear provoking their parish priests.

In the countryside, there is such a thing as a "Catholic vote", and pro-RH lawmakers would rather absent themselves from the sessions than become the object of attacks from the pulpit in the run-up to the May 2013 elections, according to Secretary Manuel Mamba. Yesterday he said lawmakers were "fearful" of provoking their parish priests by appearing in the deliberations, much more by voting for the controversial measure.

GAY BASHERS TO GATHER ON STREET CORNERS THROUGHOUT BRITAIN THIS CHRISTMAS

From THE INQUISITR:

Major Andrew Craibe, media relations manager for on of the Australian branches of the Salvation Army reminded the world that the belief of the Salvation Army is that gays should be put to death. It is easy to confuse his statements with that of the Taliban or the Westboro Baptist Church, but speaking with Serena Ryan and Pete Dillon on their Salt and Pepper radio show the subject of gay rights came up and Craibe had this to say:


Ryan: According to the Salvation Army, [gay people] deserve death. How do you respond to that, as part of your doctrine?

Craibe: Well, that’s a part of our belief system.

Ryan: So we should die.

Craibe: You know, we have an alignment to the Scriptures, but that’s our belief.


DEMONS MAKE YOU GAY

Oh, for goodness sake. This is just getting silly now. The witches in Wales story (see below) was crazy enough but this goes beyond crazy into the realms of complete ga-ga.

From CHARISMA MAGAZINE:

Can demons engage in sexual activity with humans? As bizarre as it sounds, those who minister to people in occult bondage say it's more common than you think.

For nearly two decades, Contessa Adams felt as though she had no power against the demonic violators of her body. She felt trapped in secrecy and shame and knew that the demons tormenting her wanted things to stay that way. But God had another agenda for Adams when she found Christ in 1979. The former stripper has a ministry through which she exposes one of Satan's darkest secrets—sexual demons. These spiritual rapists, as Adams describes them, often prey on people by performing sexual acts through nightmares and erotic dreams. Some people become so dependent upon these demonic experiences that they actually look forward to them.

"Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you ... they're worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people," says Adams, who claims she was once possessed by sexual demons.

The two most identifiable sexual demons are the incubus, which is a male sexual demon that traditionally assaults women, and the succubus, which is a female sexual demon that assaults men. Sometimes they also lure people into homosexual behavior.


RAOTFLMAO!


Actually it means "Laugh out loud." Although, in the case of David Cameron's emails to Rebekah Brooks, the nutter who came up with this nonsense may actually be on to something.

I understand that the Satanists have put out their own poster warning about the dangers of using the abbreviation "OMG!"

FROM THE DIOCESE OF CLOUD CUCKOO LAND

This is amazing. The high level of self deception these homophobes and misogynists achieve is almost beyond belief.

From THE CHRISTIAN POST:

An official with a diocese that recently voted to leave The Episcopal Church has explained that congregations opposed to the decision are free to remain with the mainline protestant denomination. The Rev. Jim Lewis, Canon to the Ordinary for the Diocese of South Carolina, told The Christian Post that "Continuing Episcopalians" are free to "re-associate" with the denomination.

FEAR OF WOMEN PERSISTS IN RURAL WALES

From WALES ONLINE:

Rev Felix Aubel, who is currently the minister of five Congregational chapels in rural Carmarthenshire, said: “Some people in the Aberaeron and Trelech areas are known to have used ‘poppets’ or effigies to try and bring bad luck to other people. Amongst many cultures throughout the world, a poppet or effigy would be used with very sharp needles stuck into its ‘heart’ as a way of doing evil to an enemy. It was this evil type of poppet that was used on a chapel member of mine in the Aberaeron area in 1994. It took an experienced Anglican exorcist to ‘raise’ this curse, which had been placed by a witch on the instruction of another former church member. The motivation behind this ‘evil’ was envy that had turned into jealousy. Enmity then evolved into paranoid hatred that was exploited financially by a witch living outside Lampeter.”

Dr Aubel writes that he has also encountered a case of the “evil eye” during his ministerial career: “In this instance, a lady who had given birth to a baby boy was apparently ‘wished bad luck’ by the ‘evil glance’ in the eye of a childless spinster neighbour. Both mother and child were subsequently taken ill due to acute breathlessness for no apparent medical reason and had to be hospitalised. The spinster even visited the mother and child in hospital while I was, coincidentally, speaking to them. It became obvious to me that the spinster was praising the baby to its mother in a very ‘false’ and patronising way. Indeed, this is one of the most noticeable characteristics of the utilisation of the ‘evil eye’. Realising this, I asked the spinster to say ‘God bless you’ to the baby, having just said what a beautiful child the mother had. Therewith, the spinster immediately walked away without uttering another word. As a precautionary measure, the mother later placed an amulet, in this case a horseshoe, in the porch of her home in order to protect her baby son and herself from the malevolent effects of the spinster’s ‘evil eye’.”

Dr Aubel states that there seems to be an “unusual connection” between Christianity and witchcraft in some chapel circles: "During the early part of the 20th Century one witch, even on the day she became a chapel member, bewitched a young servant girl working at Gelli Fawr farm. The witch was sitting on a pew behind the servant girl, who rushed out of the chapel and ran wildly about the roads. Her father, having tried every means of pacifying her, went to Cwrt y Cadno to consult Dr Harries, the famous Carmarthenshire wise man. Dr Harries told the father what had happened and even showed him the scene in a mirror. He gave him a piece of paper with some words written on it that the girl had to wear on her breast. This apparently proved sufficient to bring her back to her normal state."

Oh, for goodness sake! If black magic worked there would be a lot of very rich witches around not to mention "old spinsters" shagging young body builders.


THE SILENCE OF THE SHEPHERDS

I see that the Church of England has ordained another gay bishop. However, as the English are a lot less honest about such things than the Americans, do not expect him to admit to the fact publicly and do not expect him to be excluded from the next Lambeth Conference by the Archbishop of Canterbury.

SOME GOOD ADVICE

From THE MANILA BULLETIN:

(Bishop Joel Baylon, chairman of the Catholic Bishops' Conference of the Philippines) said parents should give their children books, instead of toys, to encourage the young to imbibe the habit of reading. He also discouraged the giving of guns which promote violence.

ONE WAY CONVERSATION

From ARAB NEWS:

Abdul Rahman Al-Sudais, head of the Presidency of the Two Holy Mosques, has highlighted the significance of dialogue with other cultures and religions, saying it is a good medium to spread the message of Islam.

I'm sure there are many Christians with exactly the same understanding of dialogue.

PLEASE NOTE

I am always mad but only occasionally mentally ill.

EXCELLENT!


This is great news. I could really do with certain people becoming aware of my anger.

MADPRIEST'S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

The only reason why you are normal is the fact that there are more of you than us.


Graphic sent in by Jim P.

OH BUGGER, IT'S CHRISTMAS AGAIN


I'm including this in my seasonal hall of infamy not because it is particularly bad but because the singer has really embraced the complete misery of the season with gusto. So, no days off purgatory, but if you do decide to slit your wrists after listening to it (which is very possible) you will not be charged with being guilty of a mortal sin when you reach the other side and, on top of that,  I will try and swing it for you to be buried in consecrated ground.

NEWS JUST IN

In a bid to combat the severe flooding, the UK Environment Agency is considering making the use of hosepipes compulsory.

MADPRIEST'S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Inclusiveness can only be 100%. You cannot be partly inclusive, that would be a contradiction in terms. Yet those who proclaim themselves to be part of an inclusive church tend to be very choosy about who they include in reality. But if you are truly inclusive you welcome the paranoid schizophrenic as eagerly as the high functioning, cute kid with autism. You don't wait until after the Synod vote before deciding whether or not to speak out for a particular oppressed group.

MISERABLE CHRISTMAS TOP TIPS (4)

Instead of buying presents for your friends and family this Christmas, give the money you would have spent on presents to charity and then tell your friends and family what you have done.

However,  although you will save money as you won't be both buying presents and giving to charity like people who are not mean bastards do, you will go to hell. Jesus hates people who boast about their giving.


ARSE-TALKING WITH MARK DRISCOLL

From CP ENTERTAINMENT:

Author and outspoken pastor Mark Driscoll says he wants to make it clear that movies such as "Twilight," which opened this weekend, are something Christians should not treat as harmless entertainment and, in fact, have inspired some real-life demonic trends.

Subtitled in his blog, "A Father's Fright of Twilight," Driscoll states, "Twilight is for teenage girls what porn is to teenage boys: sick, twisted, evil, dangerous, deceptive, and popular."

"sick, twisted, evil, dangerous, deceptive, and popular" - Really, Mark, surely this is a prime example of the pot calling the kettle black. One thing is for certain, if I was the father of a teenage girl I would much rather she went to see a "Twilight" film than go any where near your brainwashing, life-denying organisation. Heck, if I was the father of a teenage boy I'd buy him an annual subscription to the porn site of his choice if he promised never to get involved in your nasty form of Christianity (if you can even call it that).

HEADLINE OF THE DAY


They should try advertising in China or Pakistan. There are people there with loads of experience.

36 Math Journal Problems (Set 3 is done!)

Finally! I finished my 3rd set of math journals. They've been a while in the making. They are based on a variety of subtraction strategies and do cover some math CCS.

Click here to check it out in my TpT store


Here's a sneak peek at some of the things covered.





This set works well in conjunction with the previous sets. It can also be used on its own.
Click here to check out Set 2
Click here to check out Set 1


And don't forget today and tomorrow only
Click the image to check out my whole store