GNOSTIC PAPYRUS SCARES NO SEX VATICAN

From WORCESTER TELEGRAM AND GAZETTE:

The Vatican newspaper has added to the doubts surrounding Harvard University’s claim that a 4th century Coptic papyrus fragment showed that some early Christians believed that Jesus was married, declaring it a “fake.”

I'm not surprised. In fact, what does surprise me is that the Vatican doesn't condemn the New Testament as a fake as well. I mean, all those references to the brothers and sisters of Jesus and the scandalous assertion that it was James, the brother of Jesus, who founded the Church, and not Peter, are just completely unbelievable as there is no way Mary ever had sex in her life (well, maybe a bit of heavy petting with Joseph, but nothing penetrative).

But there is one thing I don't understand. How can the Holy Family be held to be the epitome of the true family by a religion that believes that you are not married unless you've copulated with each other at least once? In fact, how can that same religion claim that gay people can't get married to each other because they are unable to consummate their marriage when it spends so much time venerating a woman who, according to their own catechism, couldn't have ever consummated her own marriage.

Talk about wanting their cake and eating it too.

I'm confused.